An (expanded) thank-you note to J. Groene Construction!
There is nothing good about being a control freak. The phrase connotes a white-knuckled fear of all curves or bumps in the road, disdain for all the spice of life, an aversion to any and all diversion.
Good parenting might be a decades-long exercise in learning not to be a control freak, in mastering, instead, the art of “picking your no’s;” learning how and when to let go, when to stand ground and when to draw a line in the sand. It’s a tough education for most of us, and the loss of control may first become apparent when a toddler begins to toddle hither and yon.
My husband, Bob, and I called our firstborn “HODAD,” an acronym for Hands of Death and Destruction, a smiling reference to her lightening-fast ability to shred, disassemble and flush items we might otherwise cherish. I remember with particular clarity the moment, at the end of a epically long day, when I collapsed abed and reached up to turn on a reading lamp only to find the small knob missing, rendering the lamp unusable. HODAD had me. I had met my match, I knew, and I fell asleep, tired and at least temporarily, utterly defeated.
I had no idea how good I had it.
Every day I volunteer with our Family Promise guests, I think about the differences and the similarities between the challenges I faced as an always-housed young mother of one, then two, then three, and the challenges the moms and dads who are our guests face.
I recognize so much that we have in common. And so much that we do not.
The differences start with the nouns in the story above. The part about the bed. Oh, and the lamp. I realize that those basics of every day life are lacking for our guests when they enter our program.
The net effect is an utter lack of control of the basic, physical parameters of life—the walls, rooms, doors. The drawers, closets, medicine cabinets. I don’t know about you, but these are things I rather count on. They are among my “givens;” they are scarce commodities for our guest families and their absence contributes to our FP families’ feelings of loss of control.
Absolutely these “things” are not as important as relationships; spiritual, emotional and economic stability; or mental or physical health. But there’s no doubt that comfort and order can positively affect overall wellbeing and health.
Daily routines–the good choice to put one’s socks away and know with reasonable certainty that tomorrow those same socks, matched or mismatched, will still be in that same drawer–are important. Lack of routines makes for increased fatigue, disorganization and wasted resources.
And so, with this long-winded but heartfelt diatribe (Dana WANTS blog entries, she says!!!!), I get to my point:
The board, staff and guests of Family Promise thank Jonathan Groene and Nathan of J. Groene Construction for work renovating our day center basement. What Jonathan calls “rough shelving” has transformed a dim, damp and cluttered space that was actually frightening for many of our guests into individually locking closets of clean ample well-lighted storage space. Expanded laundry facilities and space for an additional washer and dryer are also a happy result of the remodeling work.
Knowing where one’s socks live is no small thing. It is a comfort and a welcome bit of control for families working hard toward stability and appropriate routines.